


Ad Astra

by this_is_the_end



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8774755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_the_end/pseuds/this_is_the_end
Summary: Canis Major has 8 main stars. Sirius is the brightest.Lupus is a constellation located in the deep southern sky. It is composed of 9 main stars.





	

**Author's Note:**

> you all should know that I know very little about this universe - I have read all the books and seen all the movies, but I would not call myself a knowledgeable fan by any means. This was written as a gift for one of my friends, and so here it is.

_Canis Major has 8 main stars. Sirius is the brightest._

**One**

and you can see the loneliness in his eyes. You can count the bruises on the insides of his writs, the scratches on his shoulders. You can't look away from the black eye he's sporting. You reach out and press a pale hand over his. He doesn't react, not at first. That takes months. It takes the turmoils and tests of friendship for him finally to open up. Then, his fingers curl around yours and months into the school year, he is unmarred. You can't look away from his eyes - never have been able to - but now they are clear and filled with a shred of happiness, even. 

**Two**

and he takes your breath away. He steals it under the mistletoe one year and he does it again after a harsh moon. He kisses you with tenderness and reverence that you _know_ you do not deserve. He peppers them along your nose and across your cheeks - he claims that it's the only way to count all your freckles - and he dips them into the curve of your collarbone. He takes your hand in his and for a second, you are not afraid. You claim his bravery as your own and you stare danger down with laughter. For a second, you forget what you are and you forget the tragedy that is your life. He kisses your cheek that summer as you get off the train - close to the corner of your mouth but he is a _tease_ , this man - and his eyes hold a promise for _later_. You stand on the platform as he is dragged away by his parents and press a hand to the burning memory of where his lips had been.

**Three**

and when you transform, they transform with you. The wolf clouds your coherent thought and so, when you wake you think it has all been a dream. A black dog licks at your cheeks and nuzzles his nose against your palm and a rat comes to sit in your lap. The stag lowers his head and gives you a nudge and then you are sobbing. He transforms back first, cradling you in his arms and laughing with you when your sobs turn to glee. 

**Four**

and you have your first fight. It's something stupid and now you can't even remember what it was about. You remember the hurt on his face - the pain in his eyes - and you remember that you broke a promise to yourself that day. That you would never be the source of the pain in his eyes, that you would only make him smile. He's out the door before you can say anything more and then you are after him. You both end up in a snowy courtyard and its now that you realize. This is the first holiday he hasn't gone home. You catch him by the wrist and he crumples against you, you both fall to the snow. Your apologies are given in the way of kisses and his are given in the way of soothing touches.

**Five**

and you are one of many stuck in the middle of the war. You are one of the countless souls that is plagued by nightmares, both waking and sleeping. You and he - you stick together, side by side. The finest partners, some say, and you don't tell them that it is because you are both _terrified_. You don't tell them that every heartbeat is plagued with terror that one might be taken from the other. When he kisses your temple late one night, he makes a promise. Two days later, and he is gone.

**Six**

and you are alone. You are a broken and changed man - for a while, you are nothing but the wolf. Then, you argue. You argue with anyone that will listen to you that _he did not do it_. With every argument, James and Lily's petrified faces flash against the back of your eyelids. Then, it is his face. It is his face happy, sad, angry, playful - it is every smile he ever gave you and it is happiness in his eyes. You tell yourself that he would want you to be happy, that he would want you to move on. And so, you do. You push through the years as if you are drowning, trying to stay above the harsh current. When the newspapers tell of his escape you try _not_ to let your heart _soar_ through your rib cage. Fate takes you to Hogwarts and Fate puts you with Harry Potter - Fate lets you stand before Sirius one more time, heart in your throat and limbs frozen in place. Fate has a sick sense of humor, you think as your hand intertwines with his in the heat of battle.

**Seven**

and he is falling in a pulse of green. He hits the floor and your arms are around Harry - distantly, you are aware that your screams have joined his. 

**Eight**

And he is that last star you see. He is every memory in your mind - Tonks is there now, too - and he is every smile you didn't ever deserve. He is every laugh and every prank, he is every ounce of happiness inside your bones. 

**Eight**

and as you fall, you count the stars in his constellation. As you fall, as darkness closes in, you think of him, Tonks, Teddy - as you fall, your eyes lock onto the brightest star in the sky.

**_Sirius._ **


End file.
